The Carpark

ninthnotch · Site Admin Joined: 12 Jun 2007 Posts: 2340

Following on Ned Bloody Ludd's idea about having cobraking vs Secret Agent thread, I've decided that if we're running a virtual pub, we need a virtual carpark for virtual punch-ons as there's been a few of them recently.

So this thread is now the Carpark where if you want to have a go at someone, have it here in this where it can be seen.

I want you all though to note that this is the same carpark that has a siding upon which sits the Apparatus™, So it's within easy reach if people fuck up.

Feel free to really get up someone, so long as you follow these handy-dandy rules.

I pity the fool!

Keep it to this thread and this thread alone. It's easier to hose blood off concrete than sticky carpet.

I pity the fool!

No bringing forum grudges here. Someone gave you a BBQ-ing on RP, don't come here and start shit, That's why aus.rail went all fucked as people brought their grudges against X or Y person (fuck, even I got a mention once!) from one board to another. That doesn't just apply to RP; there are other boards that this can come from.

I pity the fool!

You must be an experienced user of these forums to come here. I'm not going to set a limit of X posts or Y time as a member here. We will (we being the Supreme Admin Nazis From Hell) decide on this, and I know that there is a high level of common sense here to ensure that it will not be an issue. It also eliminates trolling/socking, all of which will be dealt with VERY fucking severely.

I pity the fool!

No outing of real names. For various reasons, people have a handle for a good reason - keep it that way. Even if someone uses their real name unless it is their username do NOT refer to people by their real names. I did it once and it's one of the very few things I've done on the Interwebs I feel bad about.

I pity the fool!

No personal threats or intimidation. That shit will see a very prolonged and painful Apparatus™ and may involve Apparatus™ing in other fora. It's chickenshitness in it's most chickenshitty form. And especially no taking shit to PM's. That's also pretty chickenshit.

I pity the fool!

No deliberate hunting down. We've made it clear, but I am prepared to relax the rules a little bit.

For example: this is cool:

bingley_hall · Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:52 pm Post subject: Re: The Carpark

Bwana · Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 1:38 pm Post subject:

One rule I'd like to see here (but of course, it's your joint TLD & 'notch, do as you see fit - just making a recomendation) is "give a reason".

eg:
"[username] if a fucking dropkick who wouldn't know his arse from his elbow" - no good

"[username] is a fucking dropkick who wouldn't know his arse from his elbow - How the fuck could you possibly think group AAA is doing anything other than XXX" - perfect

"[username] should have his balls ripped off with a chainsaw" - no good

"[username] should have his balls ripped off with a chainsaw because he rooted my missus/started playing doof doof music while I was filming/stood in the 4' to take a photo/etc" - perfect

One of the things that really pisses me off, here and elsewhere (and whether I am the target or not) is when someone starts flying with personal attacks and for the life of me I can't work out why the flyer has decided to let fly. The current cobraking vs secretagent tiff is a perfect example.
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Gromit · Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 2:03 pm Post subject:

Gee, Bwana...I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone having a stoush in a carpark for any good reason, and I don't think I want to read reasons either... Wink

Perhaps there should be a rule about how much time you need to be at the bar before inviting someone into the carpark to settle things "for once and for all". Thems that spend five minutes with drink in hand before resorting to blueing in the carpark could be besowed with the custom rank of "two can screamer".

Shit-eating grin

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ninthnotch · Site Admin Joined: 12 Jun 2007 Posts: 2340

Subtle, bing? To be perfectly honest, I just picked the first one at random.

As time goes on it'll refine itself (or just wither and die from lack of use),
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biqua · Diamond Bollocks Joined: 12 Jun 2007 Posts: 575

TheLoadedDog · Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 11:46 pm Post subject:

Just following on from Br. notch's fine set of simple, straightforward, and Mr T laden rules...

Bwana, I agree with your "give a reason" idea as a general principle for the entire forum. For this thread, it'd also be great if people do it, but I'm willing to go a bit easier if anything here if they don't, because this is where you go when you're just fired up and want to E-whack some cunt (real carpark altercations tend not to transpire in proper formal debating format either).

All I can add is THIS IS NOT A FREE FOR ALL.

Even in a pub carpark (at least the sort of pubs the likes of us would like to drink in), there are some unwritten rules on such things as king hits, putting the boot in, glassing, an' that. These make you a cunt if you do them. And rest assured, there are two blokes here with Apparatus™ tickets who are fully aware of the electronic equivalents of these things.

Short version: you come back into the bar with a bloody nose, we won't ask questions. Come back and buy each other a beer, and we'll be positively happy. But like most publicans, we don't like it when the pub gets a bad name.
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Adelaide_passenger · Joined: 20 Jun 2007 Posts: 305

Pub car park? Hmm. Not so sure about that.

Put it this way, if party A can't eloquently put forward why party B is a cunt, succinctly within a single post; and instead, embarks upon a mission to shadow all messages party B posts with a 'You fuckwit' rant for however long, then it should be party A's duty to confront party B with:

Q1)What's your problem? Have I__________:

a) Fucked your Mrs?
b) Killed your dog?
c) Got you demoted?
d) Other

for an explanation as to what is up party A's rectum. He or she will either tell a life story, or shut the fuck up and return to their rightful place in the tool shed.

Quite frankly, 'I've had a shit day at work, my grandma died' or whatever; isn't a reason to come on here and start flinging shit at someone else who you can otherwise ignore in a rational state of mind. I could be missing the point, but while there is some compassion to be had here, this place isn't the mental health hotline either, and there's only a certain amount of moaning I can stand before the obligatory, 'Your vagina is showing' comes out.

Pub fights, tend to be over serious things, as above. The things for getting uppance here, by what we assume to be grown adults, are so fucking minor, it would make the kids at the playground laugh.

TheLoadedDog · Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 2:55 am Post subject:

Point taken, A P.

But then, if the problems are minor in the scheme of things, so is this thread compared to a real pub carpark. I think it's in balance.

Hopefully, this won't be used much. If it is, it will with a bit of luck, be used as a short and sharp safety valve, and then back to scheduled programming.

I should also add: I would vastly prefer it if people making use of this thread do so only if they think it might shake loose some sort of eventual peace. In other words, if you are unwilling or unable to envisage an eventual end to whatever blue you're having, this might not be the place to go. A result is preferred.
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Scribbles on window-panes,
We only suffer
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riccardo · Joined: 25 Jun 2007 Posts: 190

What a great idea Dawg!

Now what did you call me first time on the Page - prick? Oh, I forgot, no carrying grudges over from the Page.

Sorry to get all serious on you, but one thing I will say, is that I think railbastard is actually very polite because we can say what we like.

Most of us happy to take the piss and be taken.

Secret Agent · Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:39 pm Post subject:

Cobraking and I do not hate each other we just had a difference of opinion, thats all, no harm done there, as everyone is entitled to their own opinion of something! We would not be human if we did not have this difference. Looks like we might have to shout each other a beer or summat next time we are in the front bar! Cool

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jibbonpoint · Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 10:41 pm Post subject:

I didn't see this although I'm sure that you all did in Melbourne. Sam Newperson saying to the effect of " I have an opinion & an opinion can't be wrong. If I call you a prick, well, that's an opinion." It's taken me a while but I am warming to the cunt. I'm looking forward to it being posted on You Tube.
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ninthnotch · Site Admin Joined: 12 Jun 2007 Posts: 2340

In fact, I might do something separate.

Each time The Carpark gets a run, I'll split the threads off into their own one and lock it. Gives me a chance to exercise the Evil Admin Powahs as well, and that way people can see the Rules as it were.
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Get a fucken move-on
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ninthnotch · Site Admin Joined: 12 Jun 2007 Posts: 2340

I've split the first one orf into its own thread here.
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Get a fucken move-on
Have some fucken sense
Learn the fucken art of
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Cobraking/42101 · Fuckwit Crusher Joined: 28 Jul 2007 Posts: 693

I WAS Wondering what happened and I was just getting into 3rd gear too already to solve the problem...bummer. Laughing